I recently saw “American Fiction.” On the way out of the theater, I heard someone say the movie “was too black.” The irony for me is this was not a “black” movie, but rather a well-conceived story about an underrecognized artist, the societal perceptions of Black American men, and the complexities of familial and intimate relationships. If anything, it is making fun of white audiences, but I think this is too simplistic a view.

I was thrilled to see it nominated for an Oscar, but it made me really consider how I ended up thinking the way I do and why others see the world so differently. I was born in the Bronx and now live comfortably in a sophisticated bubble. My father wasn’t particularly progressive; he didn’t vote for Barak Obama because he feared Obama would be like Al Sharpton in the White House. I didn’t talk to my dad for a month after he said that. I am proud to be Jewish but support a two-state solution and hope we can find peace with the Palestinians. I am a man but find a woman’s right to choose to be fundamentally American. Am I a hypocrite or just someone who believes there a many views and asking people to all agree is unrealistic? The world isn’t left or right, blue or red, Judeo-Christian or Muslim, conservative or liberal. We all live on this continuum, yet our world is being run by extremists who benefit when we can’t agree.

As I see it , the problem is that human nature forces us to choose one or the other. If we had three or more choices, perhaps there would be more diverse thinking and better options. Now, our leadership fears saying anything that may upset someone in their party or a big donor. Do we really want the country’s philosophy driven by what we can’t agree on? The people, not the party, should decide the most important issues to debate.

We are at a crossroads. We all learned some form of American History but it appears it is being interpreted in different ways. We are a nation built by immigrants. The Constitution  calls for a separation of church and state. We all believe in freedom, but not always the freedom to choose which books our children read and the history of our nation no matter how difficult it is to hear.  Political experts agree that the conditions in the U.S. are frighteningly similar to those just prior to the Civil War. With the world seemingly on fire, don’t we have bigger issues than fighting among ourselves?

As I walked my dog on Lindell Boulevard last night, I noticed a number of windows displaying Palestinian flags. The Central West End has also had “From the River to the Sea” marches since the start of the war. At first, I was scared and concerned, but as I thought about it, I decided that the better approach is to have coffee with my neighbors to better understand them and to see how we can think together to bring about positive change. I am sure there are many things we agree on and we have to find ways of building friendships and bridges, not bullhorns and slogans.

We must stop treating people as “others” and start to understand where they are coming from. I admit it is hard sometimes, but I don’t believe hatred will go away on its own. We have to get to know each other better, talk about our differences, invite people to our homes, and have our children play together. Some of the best experiences I have had were when we invited Christian families to our Passover Seder. Or, as a child, when I invited my new friend who didn’t look like me to spend the weekend at our home. Or when I’ve discussed politics with friends who see things very differently from me.

I don’t want “others” to see things my way, but I am convinced it is hard to hate someone you value as a friend.

I am excited to live in a multi-ethnic, multi-national, multi-lingual, multi-religious country which defends the rights of ALL. This has never happened in the history of the world. But we are hitting speed bumps. Not everyone likes this in practice, especially when we don't have enough resources for our residents. This is a problem, but from my vantage point, a good one to have. Other countries are losing population because there are no opportunities and the politics are oppressive. Let’s figure this out before ours is.

If you want to meet and discuss the world and our differences, please contact me at 314 363-3333 or craig@slmag.net Craig M. Kaminer, Publisher