Lies have become distressingly prevalent, infiltrating the fabric of our society and straining the bonds of trust. I’m not sure if it is worse now than 10, 20, or 30 years ago, but it sure feels like it. It’s too easy to blame Donald Trump, but he is probably the biggest offender. Yet he is running again for POTUS and, at this point in time, a large number of Americans appear willing to forgive his sins and vote for him again. Politics aside, are we really willing to elect a president who lied repeatedly, was convicted (and has pending possible convictions) on multiple charges, incited violence in our Capitol, and panders to the most extreme people in our society? What are we teaching our kids about lying? Are we teaching them that it's okay, and the better you are at it, the more successful you will become?

As an avid news consumer, I admit that it is difficult to know who is reporting the facts and who is perpetuating their agendas. Most days I read multiple sources to triangulate what is really going on.  Half the time, I can’t tell.

I know I have lied in my life and I’m not proud of it. Although they were mostly white lies or half-truths, they weren’t the whole truth. Is this human nature or is it a learned response? I don’t know, but it is troubling.

While some argue that white lies or lies of omission can be harmless or even beneficial in certain situations, a closer examination reveals the inherent immorality of any form of lying. The fundamental premise lies in the violation of trust and the negation of an individual's autonomy to make informed decisions based on accurate information.

Lying erodes the interpersonal relationships upon which societies are built. Honesty is the foundation of trust, and without trust, the bonds between individuals weaken. Lying creates a climate of suspicion and erodes the ability to rely on others. The deceived individuals suffer emotional distress and experience a breach of trust that can be difficult to repair. In the long term, chronic lying damages one's reputation, further isolating them from others and undermining their credibility.

Society functions on trust and cooperation. Lying corrodes these vital elements. When lies permeate the social fabric, they engender a culture of deceit, breed cynicism and undermine social cohesion. Trust is essential for meaningful relationships, business transactions, governance, and the functioning of institutions. By eroding trust, lying weakens social institutions, impairs cooperation, and obstructs progress. In contrast, a commitment to honesty fosters transparency, accountability, and mutual respect, paving the way for healthier societies.

Ethical theories offer insight into the immorality of lying. From a deontological standpoint, lying is inherently wrong, as it violates moral principles such as honesty, respect for others, and the duty to uphold truth. Immanuel Kant famously argued that lying is impermissible, even in extreme circumstances, as it treats others merely as means to an end rather than as autonomous beings deserving of respect. Utilitarianism also condemns lying, as the consequences of deception often lead to greater harm than good. Virtue ethics emphasizes the cultivation of honesty as a virtue, guiding individuals to embody truthfulness in their actions and relationships.

Lying to oneself is also a deceptive act that we often engage in, perhaps unintentionally, as a means to shield ourselves from uncomfortable truths or to preserve a preferred self-image. It is a subtle dance between our conscious and subconscious, where we craft intricate narratives and convince ourselves of their validity — even in the face of contradicting evidence. This self-deception can manifest in various forms, such as denying our flaws, downplaying our mistakes, or ignoring the consequences of our actions.

Lying to oneself can provide temporary solace, creating an illusion of control and avoiding the discomfort that truth might bring. It is a defense mechanism, a way to protect our fragile egos and maintain a sense of stability. However, in the long run, it hampers personal growth and inhibits genuine self-reflection. By constructing these elaborate facades, we deceive not only others but also ourselves, hindering our ability to understand our true motivations, desires, and vulnerabilities.

So next time our leaders, colleagues, business associates, family members, or we lie to ourselves, call them — or ourselves — out.  Don’t brush it under the rug because he/she represents your party, business interests, or family harmony.  If need be, make a point of condemning the lies. I remember lying as a child and disappointing my parents. It felt as terrible to me as it did to them. But clearly, many people have compromised their consciences and have no problem lying…a lot. We can’t accept this behavior and it's time we start doing something about it.

Let me know how you feel.

Craig Kaminer

craig@slmag.net